Zara Maqbool

A therapist in training and freelance writer.

Is someone playing mind games with you?

By Zara Maqbool The Players People play psychological games unconsciously all the times and more so in intimate relationships. There are non-believers who would laugh at this notion but once you accept that a mind game can be played, you will start recognizing the players around you. These gamers become persecutors, victims and rescuers and…

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I must be the best

By Zara Maqbool Are you pushing your child too hard? Yesterday, a teenager visited me for a counseling session. She was having a panic attack and her mother was worried to death. She had her Cambridge exams starting from next week and that had triggered the anxiety attack. I sat before her with a heavy…

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Who am I in the world?

By Zara Maqbool What is my attitude towards the world? I truly feel that people either have a willing or a willful attitude towards the world. We make a choice consciously or unconsciously at some point of time as to how will we see the world. This can be triggered by external factors in our…

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Love thyself before you love others

By Zara Maqbool  The condition of worth  ‘Don’t be selfish’! ‘Love others before you love yourself.’ ‘Think of others before you think of yourself’. Sounds familiar? Growing up we hear this from everyone around us. Parents, grandparents, teachers you name it and there is advice on how to be selfless from every adult around us…

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Turn that miscommunication into communication

  The problem that lies I asked my husband last week if he wants me to visit his female friend’s sister’s wedding. “Do you want me to come?” “It’s your choice,” he replied. “Does that mean you don’t want me to come? Do you have a reason for not wanting me to come?” He looked…

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Fixed Price

By Zara Maqbool Ever since my husband and I started our own retail business what thing that stood out for us more than anything was the culture of bargaining and discounting that is so strongly prevalent in Pakistan. And since now I am at the receiving end of it, it makes me realize how painful…

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Spirit of Independence

By Zara Maqbool Today a cousin of mine felt extremely frustrated when he set out to work for a very important meeting and the Islamabad expressway was blocked without any alternate route. These days rehearsals are underway for the 23rd march show and one can hear jets flying over our homes skipping a few beats…

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No etiquettes

By Zara Maqbool Practicing basic manners are not so easy and basic for many people, I learned today. Living in a civilized society and by the looks of certain people, one naturally expects them to have ‘basic manners’. If someone is dressed up fairly appropriately, speaking Urdu and English although even Urdu alone is fine…

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Love ThySelf

By Zara Maqbool Since my three years in the field of counseling most of my clients, peers and students who I have come across find accepting and loving themselves the hardest. Its so natural to judge ourselves for everything ranging from how we look which none of us pause to think was not in our…

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Third time’s a charm

By Zara Maqbool  Imran Khan’s marriage with Bushra Maneka is the talk of the whole country and the wedding is being discussed on media as well but it is the social media which gives you an idea of how badly people are affected by Khan’s third marriage. The news apparently broke the Internet. Wow! This…

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When will it stop?

By Zara Maqbool Yesterday I heard the agony and helplessness in a friend’s voice that shook me to my core. She has been divorced since years and has been granted custody by the court and yet day in and out she gets bullied by the ex-husband in one-way or another. She has reached a point…

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Caught On Camera  

By Zara Maqbool Last week as I made my regular visit to the bank, one of the branch officers came up and said, “Can you please come on the side? There is an issue that we need to discuss with you.” The way he beckoned me to listen to him immediately raised my defensive bars…

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The Protective Predators

By Zara Maqbool Since Zainab’s brutal rape and murder has come in the limelight, child sexual abuse has become a topic some people are comfortable to discuss now. There is discussion going on whether schools should create awareness on sexual abuse. Media is discussing this issue more openly too and seems like the censor board’s…

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A mother’s confession

By Zara Maqbool I am scared! As a mother, the primary emotion I am feeling these days is fear. Scared for my children’s safety in this country, which is our home and where we are considered to be first-rate citizens. I feel scared when I receive messages regarding security threat right in the sector where…

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Techno-lationships

By Zara Maqbool I think very soon, I am going to be declared a technology/digital hater or whatever term you want to coin for me. The reality is, in this age mobiles, gadgets, social media and what not, have played a huge role in bringing a change in many spheres of life mostly positively but…

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We will move on!

By Zara Maqbool All over Pakistan but primarily Kasur has been a hub for a series of child abuse cases since 2006. Zainab is not the first girl who has been raped and murdered. She is the 12th case of sexual abuse in the past 12 months. Over 720 cases of such nature have been…

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Emoji’s speak louder than words

By Zara Maqbool  Since a few years I have noticed how many people including myself who have fully embraced the digital era have started using emojis instead of words to communicate to one another. Seems like we are at a loss of words these days and a smiley, heart or party popper used in abundance…

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Lost In Lahore

By Zara Maqbool There is no doubt that the Sharif brothers have played a huge role in building and improving the transportation system in Lahore. With the Metro buses, Orange line, bridges and underpasses and what not, they have undoubtedly put their heart and soul in improving the commuting for the Lahoris. There are definitely…

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Dead City No More

By Zara Maqbool I am not a native ‘Isloo-ite’ but as a child this city with its beautiful hills, the high and low slanting roads and serenity and quiet always fascinated me. Growing up I always felt excited visiting family and friends in Islamabad. While my Lahori friends used to complain of how dead this…

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Call of nature

By Zara Maqbool Last weekend I attended the Coke Festival in Islamabad. We had taken a food stall there so I ended up going three days in a row. I would be unfair if I say that it was not super organized whether it was the security arrangement, tickets counter, the food stalls and very…

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Change Manipulation To Motivation

 By Zara Maqbool As a working mom of three kids one thing that has become a constant in my life is how to balance the two roles in my life. How to focus on my career and personal growth without any guilt and at the same time raise three fully functioning, healthy and kind human…

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