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The Thing I Fear Most

June 14, 2017


By Gulrukh Tausif

On Facebook, we often come across various quizzes and personality tests that tell us about our hidden qualities. They are able to guess which fictional characters we are, whether we are a Disney prince or princess or a fairy tale villain or a cartoon character or even the bird or animal qualities that we may possess. They are able to guess whether we are extroverts or introverts, or sensitive or judgmental based on our Facebook persona.


The results are of course meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. Most of the time, I just enjoy these quizzez but recently there has been one quiz that I have not been able to put out of my mind.


II was titled “What is your biggest fear?” When I clicked upon the quiz, the site analyzed my profile and came up with an answer which was worthy of a good laugh. Fear of lizards, crocodiles, snakes, haunted houses, cockroaches and dark rooms or heights are all natural fears and not something to brood over.


But this question keeps on haunting me. What really is my biggest fear in life? At the top of the head I might say, poverty, disease or death of a loved one? Loss of wealth, health and near and dear ones are calamities that we all fear, but to my own surprise, these are not my biggest fears in life.


If I am truly honest with myself, my biggest fear today, is that I might die without having worshipped Allah as Allah should be worshipped, that I might die without serving my religion in any capacity that I could have served it, that I might fail to inculcate the love for the holy Quran in my children as it should be inculcated.


I fear that I might die without having read, understood or followed the Quran as this divine book, this source of Hidayat and Noor should be read, followed and understood. I fear that I might die before perfecting my prayers or increasing my knowledge of my deen and my eeman


In the past few months, a few of my acquaintances have passed away very suddenly. A young mother while driving her car on way to pick her children from school met with a fatal accident. Someone’s husband, someone’s father, another one’s aunt, a young student, we hear about people dying all the time, irrespective of age, gender and class.

We just have to look at our Ramadan transmissions to realize how many well-known and precious personalities have passed away in recent months. Junaid Jamshed is no more. Amjad Sabri’s voice has been silenced. A TV commercial constantly reminds us that Edhi Sahib is not among us anymore and his organization needs our support more than ever.


And I have realized how heedless we are of death and how careless we are of the time granted to us.


It is stated in the Quran:

“Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw.”

And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion?”


 When I look at people around me I find most are obsessed with one thing or the other. For younger generation it might be social media, apps and games.  Wealth, social status and enjoyment are all-consuming thoughts for some while others are obsessed with clothes and fashion. Entertainment in form of music, dramas and movies and ensuing scandals and gossip has distracted us from our real purpose in life which is to lead a life of self-awareness, piety and taqwa.


“And I did not create the Jinn and mankind except to worship Me (Allah)” (Quran, 51:56-58)

Again and again in the Quran it is stated that the purpose of life is to test who among the mankind is best in deeds.

Parents nowadays are obsessed with grades their children get in school. If a child is weak in any subject, no stone is left unturned to find the best tutor or the right academy to rectify the problem. But when it comes to the knowledge of the Quran and deen, we are becoming heedless and careless of our duty as parents and Muslims.

It is very important for us to form a strong connection with the Quran and to understand its meaning. We have to know our purpose in life, fact about human destiny and life after death so that we may be rightly guided.

I pray to Allah, not to make us heedless and not to make us too involved in the enjoyment of the delusional world.

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