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When You Know “It’s over”

SAMAA | - Posted: Mar 9, 2017 | Last Updated: 5 years ago
Posted: Mar 9, 2017 | Last Updated: 5 years ago


By Abia Gill

“If i can’t make you happy then apparently no one can ever, because you are expendable”, such painful part  of the conversation mostly ends up on break up of mind and then eventually leads divorce to happen. Nobody gets married knowing that divorce is just around the corner, it is as parallel to war down the fortress that was built with immense efforts.  Well, I have seen couples retreating from the riots and getting separated at the same time, the question lies what went wrong that the relationship ended? Is it either we cannot fix things or just throw them if you can’t comprehend. Is it as easy as bending a tooth pick that can break in two?  So the word divorce itself brings a negative impact and lots of menace vibes to one’s mind, we in the year of 2017 literally fear the thought of being separated and then the aftermath of such situation takes down the confidence.


The question states, if men feel terribly damaged as women feel in the society and go off with the same emotions like women do?  Our society encourages men to restrict the boundaries of their women by letting them chained to the house chores and smothering them in their senses. According to a recent survey the number of Khula cases has risen up to 18,902, which gives us the clear picture of couples lacking patience and one of the players has to resign from the agreement of “marriage”.


The complications and uncertainties lead to damages, because there is no talking or sharing the opinions. It diverts minds away from each other.  Have you ever witnessed some blazed voices coming from your neighbor’s house and on figuring it out you come to know that there is a difference e of opinion that leads their lives into hell, there is an entity that wants you to jump in the matter but there is something that pulls back not to interfere. It’s just not love that keeps the relationship going instead but an understanding to make your house a home. With the present world we all are lacking patience and trust me I’m not being a Chauvinist here, but it implements on both male and female behavioral management. Once you think it’s not working , an individual tends to make their existence busy with work , can be a full time job, community works etc. just to cut down their time at home to spent with their respective wives or husbands. Why this resentment grows stronger and a little voice in the head keeps popping? “It’s not working”, as a result of which, growing miles apart isn’t the destiny. Should we sob over broken marriage or be happy for redemption?


In our Desi culture a couple cannot be left alone because usually the man has his whole family awaiting for his new bride who has a magic wand and will fix the riot with a blink of an eye without any glitches. Maybe there are expectations trading over our mind about one and another. So who wins, Wife or husband?  Apparently, it’s just like to be suspended in the air without a cushion to fall back. Women talk about “what does he want, what does he expect? What else can I do to prove my love to him?”


Be the predictor of the divorce before it spreads like a cancer and most likely less expectation and immense patience is all we need.

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